Watch Ryan Reynolds And Sandra Bullock Fight For Betty White’s Love
by Sloane Hughes on January 17, 2020 at 10:10 pm
This is definitely the most intense rendition of the birthday song I’ve ever heard Today is a very important day. On the seventeenth of January in 1922, the legendary Betty White was born. The Golden Girls star has been on television for over eighty years, and although she’s been in our homes and making us laugh for, well, our entire lives, there’s still a lot to learn about her and from her. For example, did you know that according to Betty White, the secret to a long life is vodka and hot dogs? She’s not a doctor but I mean, I trust her. Something else I just learned about Betty is apparently Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock love her. Like, really love her. They love her so much, for her 98th birthday they recorded a Happy Birthday duet for her! Awww. Oh, my bad. Did I say duet? I meant duel. In a video posted to Ryan’s Instagram, the two sung a very sweet rendition of Happy Birthday — but it didn’t take long before it spiralled into a hilarious battle to prove who loves Betty White more. I’m not saying Sandra doesn’t love Betty as much as Ryan does, all I’m saying is he did shed tears. Ultimately, it’ll be up to Betty to decide who won. View this post on Instagram Happy 98th Birthday to the one and only Betty White! #XCVIII A post shared by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds) on Jan 17, 2020 at 5:03am PST
Elevator Pitch: A Star Is Undead
by Funny Or Die on January 17, 2020 at 3:02 pm
The craziest “A Star Is Born” sequel ever conceived “Guys, guys, guys, guys. I got to stop you here. Do you realize what you’ve just described to me? You’re saying the sequel to A Star is Born is going to be a zombie movie.” “Uh huh.” “Built around human-zombie romance.” “Right.” “And featuring original music from the world’s biggest recording artists.” “Sure.” “Before turning into an alien invasion sci-fi epic.” “Right.” “Right.” “Right….” Bradley Cooper may or may not ultimately go for this pitch, but if these two strangers he’s stuck with in an elevator get their way, we will soon be treated to a pretty epic sequel to A Star Is Born, starring Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and a bunch of aliens, with a soundtrack by Beyonce. So it’s worth a shot. CREDITS: Creator, Writer, Director, Animator, Actor: Paul SmithWriter, Producer: Ben RosenActor: Darren MillerActor: Brian Wieder
The Hot Sauce Roster For ‘Hot Ones’ Season 11 Is HERE
by Sloane Hughes on January 16, 2020 at 11:37 pm
Complex Networks / First We Feast Holy mother of god There’s no shortage of talk shows available out there, but there’s only one that truly puts guests in the hot seat: Hot Ones. If you’re not yet familiar with the series, prepare to be hooked. Each episode of Complex Networks’ Hot Ones features the host of the show, Sean Evans, sitting down with a celebrity guest for a twenty to thirty minute long Q and A session. Which sounds like your average interview, but there’s a twist. Between Sean and his guest lie two rows of ten glorious chicken (or cauliflower, if the guest is vegan) wings, each wing tossed in a different hot sauce and arranged from mildest to hottest. The guests don’t just have to field questions, they also have to conquer the gauntlet of wings — each more intense than the last. And it turns out, trying to answer questions while your mouth is on fire and your nerves are short-circuiting isn’t a walk in the park. Sean, like the good host he is, has a plate of wings as well, though. So at least they’re in it together. Season 10 of Hot Ones closed out on December 5 with actor John Boyega, who by about halfway through the interview was really feeling the burn. But even though he suffered the wrath of many fierce sauces, he should be relieved that he appeared on Hot Ones when he did — because they just announced what’s to come next. In a YouTube video just dropped today, Sean Evans walks us through the roster of sauces that await the guests of season 11, including the dreaded Da’ Bomb and First We Feast’s own Last Dab, and hooooo boy, everybody’s in for one helluva ride. Get ready, spicelords, Hot Ones returns on First We Feast’s YouTube channel on Thursday, February 6 at 11AM EST. While you’re waiting for season 11, check out some of our past favorite episodes: Shia LaBeouf Kristen Bell Nick Offerman
Do Annoying Rich Frat Guys Get Better After Leaving College?
by Best Of The Web on January 16, 2020 at 5:33 am
Unfortunately, no Ex-Frat Star, Chad Whiteman III, is all grown up and asking life’s tough questions like “Bro Have You Heard “Sicko Mode”? FIELD NOTES FROM THE FUNNY OR DIE STAFF Regardless of where you go to college, there are a few things you’re bound to encounter. Overly expensive textbooks, uncomfortable lecture hall seats, one classroom that’s always way too hot or way too cold, and that guy. You know, the guy who stretches his legs out into the aisle and says things like, “Jane Austen sounds like she just needed to get dicked down, haha, am I right boys?” The guy who wears quarter-zipper sweaters from his family’s country club. The guy who uses, “Yeah my dad’s the number one donor, so I basically own this place,” as a pickup line. You know, that guy. Thankfully, once you cross the stage, degree in hand, and shake hands with the dean you never have to see that pastel button down, khaki shorts wearing asshole again. But just because he’s gone from your mind doesn’t mean he’s actually gone. So… where does he go? What’s he like? Does he have a job? What happens to that guy after academic life ends??? Well, wonder no more — comedian Joey Thompson is here to give you a glimpse into the life of that douchey rich white bro after he leaves college. Spoiler: he still fucking sucks. You can find more of Joey Thompson’s hilarious work on his Facebook pages here and here, as well as his YouTube channel right here. CREDITS STARRING Joey Thompson WRITTEN BY Joey Thompson, Joe Hamric, Dan Johnson DIRECTED BY Joe Hamric VIDEOGRAPHY Dan Johnson EDITING Joey Thompson Check out more from the Funny Or Die community here and if you have something you think is worth featuring, make sure to submit it for review by the Funny Or Die team here.
Someone Made Scarves That Look Exactly Like CVS Receipts, Oh My God
by Sloane Hughes on January 15, 2020 at 11:48 pm
Etsy I’ll take ten Whether you head to CVS to pick up shampoo, cold medicine, a stuffed animal because you forgot to get your niece a gift for her third birthday party which starts in an hour, or a single pack of gum, there’s one thing that every shopper who passes through those doors will leave with: A Huge. Ass. Receipt. CVS receipts are so ridiculously long they should be broken up into chapters, that way if anyone tries to read the whole thing they’ll know where they left off the last time they picked it up. CVS receipts are so damn long that people have actually used them as a way to fix busted blinds on windows. One of my blinds broke in my bedroom so I just went to CVS pic.twitter.com/0QghmXKZ7R— andrew (@andrewnolan2) December 5, 2018 CVS receipts are SO MINDBLOWINGLY LONG that there’s actually an entire Twitter account dedicated to them, but parody social media accounts aren’t the only thing that CVS’s endlessly vast receipts have inspired. Chicago resident and Etsy shop owner Alan Salganik had seen people wrapping themselves in or wearing CVS receipts as a joke (what else are you supposed to do with five feet of paper) and thought to himself, “Hey — wait a second. This is actually a good idea.” So, he turned them into actual clothing. Behold, the CVS receipt scarf. Etsy (Don’t worry, they’re not made of paper) These scarves, which are available on Alan’s Etsy shop for $19, are 100% fleece, handmade, feature hilariously perfect print, and they’re each 8 inches wide and 59 inches long — almost the size of an actual CVS receipt! Etsy
Subaru Pretty Much Named Its New Car “F*CKS” By Accident
by Sloane Hughes on January 15, 2020 at 1:46 am
Twitter Hahahaha this rules The 2020 Singapore Motor Show took place this past week, which is an event I didn’t even know existed until now because, well, auto companies showcasing their new models isn’t something I care enough about to mark in my calendar. However this year’s show has uhhhhh definitely piqued my interest. Subaru was one of the companies unveiling their upcoming vehicles and one model in particular caught everyone’s eye. The new Subaru Forester is a four-door hatchback that doesn’t look much different than most other four-door hatchbacks, the name, though, oh man. That’s what’s really special. This model is called the Subaru Forester Ultimate Customised Kit Special edition. YEAH, say hello to the SUBARU F.U.C.K.S. The new Subaru Forester F.U.C.K.S edition is… something pic.twitter.com/vLcAijFLQM— laberge (@labergee) January 9, 2020 HAHAHAHA, HELL YEAH. Obviously, folks at the auto show and several online automotive news publishers were very, very quick to point out this acronym, and I wish I could tell you that this was intentional and Subaru decided 2020 is the year they get buckwild with their marketing, but alas. Apparently, according to a letter from Subaru published by The Drive, this was all a mistake. An insanely cool one, but still a mistake. In case you don’t believe that and you think this is still all some big marketing ploy to drive attention to their new line of vehicles, usually I’d agree with you. But the name label underneath the car was removed almost immediately, and Subaru isn’t even going to offer this model in the United States as a result. Which is a goddamn shame. This could have been such a sweet happy accident for Subaru! Who doesn’t want a car that F.U.C.K.S.??!
Move Over, Goop, And Make Way For Stephen Colbert’s ‘Covetton Yurt’
by Sloane Hughes on January 14, 2020 at 11:05 pm
“Baroque simplicity” If you’ve never heard of Goop or are unfamiliar with the concept of “lifestyle brands”, first of all, good for you. Secondly, buckle up — this is one helluva ride. Lifestyle brands are what emerge when a mega-celebrity ponders the question, “How can I profit off of making everything about me?” So whether the things being peddled are products like face cream made from powdered insect wings or services like camel milk home delivery doesn’t even really matter, you’re not really buying goods you’re buying the lifestyle. After reading that, if your first thought was, “That sounds dumb as hell,” great — that means you get it. The most lavish of all lifestyle brands, though, is Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop. Goop, named as such because, according to Gwyneth, “All big companies have two O’s in the name,” is the home of all sorts of quality, everyday items such as coffee enemas, vampire repellent (at only $27, what a steal!) and 18k gold dumbbells. You know, the basics. Gwyneth isn’t the only one with a lifestyle to sell, though. Back in 2015 Stephen Colbert introduced his own brand, Covetton House, where you can purchase all the overpriced, luxurious junk necessary to live like Stephen. And now that Goop is moving to the small screen at the end of the month in the upcoming series The Goop Lab on Netflix, Stephen decided it only made sense if he also launched a show through which to spew elegant nonsense. Welcome, to Covetton Yurt.
Turns Out Crappy Golf Courses Make For Hilarious Conversation
by Best Of The Web on January 14, 2020 at 6:21 am
Ok seriously though, DOES ANYONE WORK HERE Jake Adams plays a round of golf with Ahamed Weinberg at the Los Feliz Par 3 course in Los Angeles, CA. FIELD NOTES FROM THE FUNNY OR DIE STAFF When you think of talk shows and interviews, what pops into your mind? I’m willing to bet the image in your mind is of a big-ass desk and a couch that are more or less facing the same direction with a stock image of some city behind it. Even if this wasn’t a concept that’s been exhausted to hell, watching two people shoot the breeze from behind a desk and sitting awkwardly on a sofa is… well… pretty dull, man! We’re better than this. We deserve better than this. And Jake Adams is here to do something about it. Instead of sitting down to just talk with other comedians, Jake decided he wanted to bring his guests to the great outdoors! Together, Jake and his guest, fellow comedian Ahamed Weinberg, opened up to each other and everyone watching at home while conquering the rugged, unkempt, coyote-filled terrain of a (forgotten and possibly haunted) golf course in Los Angeles. Well, okay maybe it’s not “great”, it’s not Yosemite, fine,but it’s still outdoors! And even though this golf green is, like, barely green, this is still the most entertaining (and kind of disturbing, honestly) conversation I’ve seen unfold on my screen in a long time. Find Jake on YouTube and Instagram to keep up with all his awesome work and look out for more golf sessions with comedians! CREDITS: CREATED BY Jake Adams STARRING Jake Adams & Ahamed Weinberg CAMERA Mark Debonis SOUND Adam Araujo Check out more from the Funny Or Die community here and if you have something you think is worth featuring, make sure to submit it for review by the Funny Or Die team here.
This Diner Charges Extra For ‘Stupid Questions’, Please Clap
by Sloane Hughes on January 14, 2020 at 1:43 am
Servers everywhere are weeping with joy I truly believe this world would be a little bit off if everyone had to work in the service industry once in their lifetime. There are few things that make you appreciate kindness and manners and patience in people than having to deal with people who lack those qualities day after day. As well as experiencing the most curmudgeonly of humankind, those who work in bars and restaurants also get to field a lot of questions that are… well… just kinda dumb. I mean, we all have our days where we’re not at our sharpest, but man, some of the questions and complaints I listened to when I managed a bar were truly, truly baffling. I can’t even tell you how many times folks would stand right in front of the “please seat yourself” sign and ask, “So do we just seat ourselves?” Or, “It says Happy Hour includes wine and beer, so does that mean highballs are half-priced too?” One time someone asked me if the shrimp salad has shrimp in it. Come on, man!! It can be difficult to answer these kinds of questions with a straight face, but it looks like a restaurant in Colorado has found a pretty great solution. A ‘stupid question’ charge. Reddit Tom’s Diner in Colorado is a noted “local favorite” and now, thanks to this Reddit post showing one of their receipts, it’s the definite favorite among service industry workers around the world as well. According to an interview in TODAY Food with the general manager of Tom’s Diner, Hunter Landry, this cheeky upcharge is usually taken pretty well by customers. ‘Stupid Questions’ is even listed as a side dish on the menu, and it has been for twenty years, so you can’t say they didn’t warn you! “It’s meant to be playful. It’s good to keep things light in today’s world.” Apparently the charge for asking a dumb question was $0.48, but has since been reduced to $0.38 — which, honestly, is way too low a price. We should all consider ourselves lucky.
This Woman Does Her Makeup On Edibles And I Am In Physical Pain
by Sloane Hughes on January 13, 2020 at 11:08 pm
“I could be Pennywise’s twin sister, Quartersmart” Although makeup artists on YouTube and beauty vloggers make it look super simple, anyone who’s attempted to do their own costume makeup will tell you that it is not easy. You have to be a master of symmetry, have the patience of a saint, the precision of a surgeon, and a pretty firm grasp on shading and color theory. That’s why a lot of people go to school in order to become a pro at it, and why a lot of other folks just wear masks on Halloween — this shit is hard! One woman, though, decided that she wanted to give herself an extra challenge when it came to this already-hefty task. Brandi TV, as she is known on YouTube, wanted to embark on a series of costume makeup tutorial videos. There’s a twist, however. Before she begins, she gets high as balls. And when I say “high as balls” I don’t mean she takes a few impressive bong hits before plunking down in front of the camera. No, no. Brandi chows down on edibles. Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but my most distinct memory of edibles was being totally fine, still being totally fine, blacking out, and then being perched on top of the back of a couch like a cat while cradling a box of Ritz crackers. Being able to accomplish literally anything on edibles is impressive, which is perfectly illustrated in one video when Brandi tries to read the label on her foundation. “Classic fass pai—Classic fass paintClassic FOSS???*sigh*Classic face paint.”