These Cartoons Taught Kids To Oppress Women
by Funny Or Die on October 15, 2019 at 1:59 pm
IT’S VERY SIMPLE There’s literally years’ worth of media — be it everything from footage from television programs, security cameras, and interviews to smartphone videos and audio recordings — that demonstrates that men have been very comfortable grabbing the bodies of and obviously sexually harassing — or worse — women. Brainwashed By Toons: Episode 2 explores how cartoons from the early 1900’s normalized this sexual misconduct and how this message of “fun groping” continued in entertainment for many years. Lyrics V1 A whislin’ wolf, is harmless they say,‘Til you look like dinner. Cartoon behavior taught to a kid, Makinʼ Betty Boop pro for her quid. She just wanted to pay the rent, But no one had heard of consent. Olive Oyl dealing with so much aggression, oh no!She got treated just like a possession.A woman’s not a wishbone… CHORUS If you donʼt understand,Where youʼre allowed to put your hand,Let me help you with some simple tips.I mean I really shouldnʼt have to, but here we go… Please donʼt touch me.And donʼt kiss me.Donʼt ogle me like a creepy little psycho.How would you feel if I came up and grabbed you by the… V2 For every Laverne & Shirley and Mary Tyler Moore. There were those who werenʼt allowed to make it after all. We could play Bikini Bingo,But a woman couldnʼt be a CEO,In a world, where Hefner was king-bro. Letʼs talk about Pepe Le Pew. (Stinky Stinky Boy)Always trying, trying to get with you. I don’t think so, boo! CHORUS 2 Disney princesses let themselves be treated rude. Arielle gave up her voice for a random dude. Literally taking her voice.Sleeping Beauty, slept the whole time. And Belle suffered from Stockholm Syndrome.It’s always the same, I know how it’s gonna… V3 Climb that corporate latter.Glass ceilings start to shatter.Your hard work starting to matter.But your body is still not yours! Even Sailor Moon,Groped in modern toons, Toxic touching is everywhere. I canʼt stand it!Even near the moon,Judith fought off goons,Judy Jetson wears mini skirts Doesnʼt mean you can touch her.You better come correct,Show us some respect, You know times are changing.Betty, Betty Boop,Olive Oyl too,Time’s up for all the skunks. Bye-Bye, Pepe Le Pew. CREDITS A NOTE FROM FUNNY OR DIE STAFF Workplace inequality, sexual harassment, discrimination, and sexual assault have gone on far too long. This episode of Brainwashed By Toons strives to highlight the subtle ways media has shaped young minds and how cartoons have spread insidious, hurtful ideas that encourage the objectification of women, misogyny, and the normalization of harmful behavior. If you, like us, think these tired, harmful ideas are absolute bullshit, there are organizations that would welcome your involvement — be it getting informed, providing a donation, or speaking out within your community. One such organization that we like a lot is TIMES UP™, “an organization that insists on safe, fair and dignified work for women of all kinds.” Learn more about Time’s Up™.
Schitt’s Creek Season 5 Is On Netflix
by Sloane Hughes on October 14, 2019 at 8:55 pm
Just in time for Thanksgiving! Eat some stuffing, watch ‘Schitt’s Creek’, and enjoy these gifs! It may just be a regular ol’ Monday in America and the rest of the world, but today, October 14th, is a very special day in my home country of Canada — It’s Thanksgiving, baby! Canadian Thanksgiving (or as we like to call it, Thanksgiving) falls on the second Monday in October, and marks the celebration of the harvest season. This year, however, there’s another reason to celebrate: Season 5 of Schitt’s Creek just dropped on Netflix! And if there is one Canadian treasure to be thankful for today, that’s definitely it. Wait… Hold on… You… You haven’t seen Schitts Creek? Well, not to worry, I’ll give you the rundown. Schitts Creek follows a family of elites who are mega-rich and mega-pretentious Who have their wealth stripped away and are thrown into a new, humble life in the town of Schitts Creek, which they do not adjust well to But not to worry, because they’re a very well functioning family and they have each other Well… Okay. Maybe not functioning. But they DO have each other! Moira (Catherine O’Hara) is the tender, loving matriarch with endless motherly wisdom Johnny (Eugene Levy) is the strong, tenacious father who’s more than prepared to build a new business in the modern era… And their two adoring children couldn’t be a tighter pair Alright so perhaps that’s not quite true either but I mean what siblings get get along all the time? David (Dan Levy) and Alexis (Annie Murphy) do have quite a bit in common though, like their… well-adjusted… level-headedness Their standards for fashion And their basic life skills And David has the best collection of Oh My Gods (and sweaters) probably in television history And lucky for all of us outside of Canada, Schitts Creek is available in all its high fashion glory on Netflix! Check out Season 5 right now, eat some turkey and stuffing, and give thanks!
SNL’s Gritty Oscar The Grouch Is The Anti-Hero We Deserve
by Sloane Hughes on October 14, 2019 at 7:39 pm
YouTube Who do I have to talk to to get this turned into an actual film Since it first debuted at film festivals in Toronto, New York, and Venice back in September, the buzz around Joker has not stopped, and it has thoroughly divided critics and the general public alike. The controversial movie has spurred a lot of questions from viewers, and the one that’s been most frequently repeated seems to be, “Is this really the kind of film we need right now?” Which is a big question with a myriad of possible answers. This past weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live isn’t here to answer that question, but rather, pose another. On the long list of possible dark anti-heroes, I’m sure the absolute last figure any of us expected to see was one from Sesame Street. So the question that SNL asks us all is, does Oscar the Grouch really need a gritty origin story? No. The answer is decidedly no. But (luckily for all of us, because it’s fucking hilarious) SNL did it anyway. “Grouch”, which was without a doubt the highlight of the entire episode, starred the evening’s host David Harbour as the eponymous gritty muppet anti-hero, along with a slew of other muppets-turned-Gotham-scum. Everybody absolutely killed it, including the editors who nailed the tone of the Joker trailer to a goddamn TEE. David Harbour as a societal outcast with a chip on his shoulder who lives in a garbage can is now my favorite thing on this earth, and I gotta be honest, I know it’s a parody but I’d probably pay to see this movie in theaters.
This University Has A ‘Draw Danny DeVito Wall’ And I Want To Enroll
by Sloane Hughes on October 11, 2019 at 11:05 pm
This is truly, truly incredible work by everyone involved There are a lot of admirable Americans out there, but there is only one Danny DeVito. And I think that we all know he’s the one true king of American icons. Which is why we’re all so enthralled — no, dare I say, enamoured by him. That’s why there was even a petition to get him to play Wolverine, which, hey — what happened to that? I need this to happen, WE ALL need this to happen. But I digress. DeVito has inspired more than just petitions, he’s now inspired art. In an academic institution, no less. The subreddit /r/mildlyinteresting contains exactly that: Things that are mildly interesting. Although I take some issue with this particular post, because this isn’t simply “mildly interesting”. This is goddamn glorious. At Mystery University in Unspecified City, a reddit user posted this most magnificent sight: A Danny DeVito drawing board. reddit One of the buildings at my university has a wall where you can draw and post a picture of Danny DeVito Like I said, I don’t know what city this is in or which university this is, but wherever it is, it deserves ALL THE FUNDING. Because what’s a better way to get young academic minds going than by encouraging this kind of art?!
We Have A Pretty Crazy ‘Zack Morris Is Trash’ Update
by Funny Or Die on October 11, 2019 at 7:48 pm
We’re pausing this season after four episodes, and here’s why We now know that there are an endless number of reasons why Zack Morris of Saved By the Bell is trash. Well, maybe not an endless number, but since there are 86 episodes there’s at least that many reasons. So you might be wondering why this season of Zack Morris is Trash is only four episodes, then. And that’s a fair question, and luckily it has a great answer. As you may or may not know, Saved by the Bell is getting a 2019 reboot. We are very excited to announce that the creator, narrator, and purveyor of hard truths behind Zack Morris is Trash and A Very Special Episode, Dashiell Driscoll, will be a writer for that reboot! So this season of Zack Morris is Trash isn’t over, it’s just on time out. ZMIT will be returning next year with new episodes and new trash, and in the meantime, be sure to wish Dash the best of luck! We can’t think of anyone better to join the new generation of Saved by the Bell writers. Check out all the episodes of ZMIT here, and pop on over to our store to pick up ZMIT merch here!
Keanu Reeves’ ‘Between Two Ferns: The Movie’ Uncut Extended Interview
by Between Two Ferns on October 11, 2019 at 6:13 pm
Keanu Reeves sat down with Zach Galifianakis to compare scars, discuss his lack of awards, and listen to Zach recite his deep poem. Zach Galifianakis and his two ferns are back. This time they’re out on the road, interviewing some of the biggest and brightest stars all over the country in order to prove to Will Ferrell that he’s a top rate host, and land his own big-time talk show. Check out this exclusive interview clip! Zach sits down with actor Keanu Reeves (Reev-ess?) to discuss their own various scars and what it’s like to know less than 100 words. Watch Between Two Ferns: The Movie, only on Netflix. And check out the entire back catalogue of Between Two Ferns episodes here.
The Mindhunters Discover Dennis Reynolds
by Funny Or Die on October 11, 2019 at 1:57 pm
Holden Ford and Bill Tench have met their match. DENNIS REYNOLDS IS MANY THINGS Dennis Reynolds is the co-owner of Paddy’s Pub. He is Dee Reynolds’s twin brother. He is best friends with Charlie and Mac. And he may also be a serial killer, but this remains an open question — UNTIL NOW Because a crack team of criminal catchers has just caught wind of a disturbing new mind to hunt. Can this team keep it together? Because while catching a criminal often requires the authorities to get inside the villain’s mind to figure out how he thinks — who can ever really get inside Dennis’ head??? HOLDEN FORD, THAT’S WHO That’s what he and fellow FBI agent Bill Tench do in their fancy suits and cool old cars. They attempt to understand and catch serial killers by studying their damaged, damaged psyches, but they have now met their match: THE GOLDEN GOD CANNOT BE CAGED CREDITS
Ron Burgundy And Brooke Shields Discuss Modeling, Studio 54, And More
by The Ron Burgundy Podcast on October 10, 2019 at 10:55 pm
This episode of The Ron Burgundy Podcast is all about the life and times of a true American icon and famous model, oh and also Brooke Shields Ron’s in a particularly good mood to start off the podcast, because he’s just had a full back wax. This was an especially great wax job, because as you may or may not know, those kinds of services usually go for around $75 to $100, but Ron’s was only $4! Granted it was done at an auto repair and bird breeding shop and he has been bleeding for about a day now. After bragging about his extremely professional back wax, it’s time to introduce the guest for today’s episode. A guest who started her modeling career at 11 months old, who started acting at 12 years old, who became the youngest model to appear on the cover of Vogue, the most famous teenager in the world, and is a true American icon: Brooke Shields. Ron also dabbled in modelling, specifically for Virginia Slims cigarettes, which might seem odd since Ron is a man, but he, like Brooke, was ahead of his time. He dives right into the questions, starting at the very beginning: What was Brooke’s first modelling gig that made her go, “Wow, I’m a real model”? How does she view femininity? Did she actually have to buy a shirt with her own face on it, even though it had her own face on it?? Next, Brooke discusses what it was like being a part of the famed Studio 54 crowd, and Ron discusses what it was like to be turned away from Studio 54 and resort to Studio 52, which is where Ed Koch used to cut a rug. And opposite from the disco club life, Ron and Carolina have a few questions about Brooke’s time at Princeton, like what prompted her to go to college at the height of her career? What was life like before and after attending college? When people undermine her, does she ever want to scream, “Fuck you I went to Princeton”? Every question you’ve ever had about Brooke Shields and more are answered in this episode of The Ron Burgundy Podcast. New episodes of “The Ron Burgundy Podcast” drop every Thursday. Check out all the available episodes of “The Ron Burgundy Podcast” on Apple Podcasts and iHeartRadio now.
Aaron Paul Summarizes ‘Breaking Bad’ In 2 Minutes And WHEW, It’s A Ride
by Sloane Hughes on October 10, 2019 at 8:51 pm
I honestly had forgotten that two planes crash into each other Breaking Bad is one of the most intense, dark, on-the-edge-of-your-seat shows of all time. The story follows a mild-mannered high school chemistry teacher recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, which sounds like a pretty tender subject for a television show, probably filled with a lot of soft moments and tears. But anyone who’s seen the show — so like, everybody — knows that shit gets real. And by real, I mean completely wild like a goddamn Western. The series ended six years ago after five exhaustingly action packed seasons, which has given us all enough time to recover before the Breaking Bad movie hits theaters and takes us all on another, I’m sure, crazy fuckin’ ride. El Camino premieres on October 11th — which is tomorrow!! And since it has been six years since Breaking Bad ended, you might be a little fuzzy on the details of everything that transpired. But don’t worry, Jesse Pinkman is here to refresh your memory. Aaron Paul, aka Jesse Pinkman, appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night and broke down the entire show, including all of the most important moments like, “I say ‘bitch’ and ‘science’ a lot” and “we killed a fly”, and he did it in under three minutes.
Warning: This Debate Gets Pretty Reheated
by Funny Or Die on October 10, 2019 at 5:20 pm
Beeeep. That sweet ding of the microwave means your lab-grown diamonds are ready! I don’t know about you, but I like my diamonds made the same way I make my microwave dinners, said literally nobody ever. That’s because much like how a frozen TV entrée tastes fine, but is nothing close to a home-cooked meal, lab-grown diamonds are not identical to natural diamonds. Their origin is the primary difference, and the growth patterns from the artificial production process (talking about you, Microwave) are easily detected by jewelers with the right equipment. Lab-Grown Diamond is here to convince a Natural Diamond he’s just as unique and real as the original thing. Good luck… When you buy a natural diamond, you know that you’re getting something 100% authentic, unique, and that increases in value in time. And, that those qualities are what represent your relationship to the person you’re buying it for.