TikToks That’ll Make You Scream “Wait – This App Actually Has Good Comedy On It?!”
by Kat Curtis on August 14, 2020 at 9:29 pm
I THOUGHT THIS APP WAS JUST STUPID CRINGY DANCES THAT I ✨SECRETLY✨WISHED I COULD DO!! I’VE READ ALL YOUR MEAN COMMENTS AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY: … my boss says I can keep writing this series as long as TikTok doesn’t get banned. SO LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME LOLOLOLOL Anyway – I wanted to highlight the three funniest accounts I’ve come across this week: Broman Martinez-Reid, Sarah Schauer and Akana. BUT WAIT… HOW CAN TIKTOK HAVE ANYTHING FUNNY ON IT!? THE APP IS JUST CRINGY CONTENT MADE BY STUPID KIDS. Well buddy, that’s why I’m writing this series: because your assumption is wrong. Over 31% of TikTok’s users (and creators) are over 25!! So yeah – you’re not weird if you’re an adult on TikTok – there’s other people your age on the app too!! Let this knowledge empower you to get on the app and enjoy this awesome content without shame! Btw – HELLO AGAIN! If you don’t already know – I’m Kat Curtis!! I have 1.5M followers on TikTok (was hoping to be at 1.6M this week, but tomorrow’s another day!!). If you like Funny Or Die, I think you’ll LOVE these three TikTok accounts! *Oh, and a quick recap of what’s happening with the possible TikTok ban: Trump issued an executive order to ban the app unless TikTok can be acquired by a US company in the next 45 days. TikTok is suing Trump for his likely unconstitutional executive order, and Microsoft is in talks to acquire TikTok (but there’s also whispers Twitter may be interested!!). More links regarding this topic at the bottom of this article. Broman Martinez-Reid • 1.3M followers (@bomanizer) @bomanizer Being in the kitchen but it’s a reality tv competition show (feat. @whatchaeden and @alyssanizer) #realitytv #fyp ♬ original sound – bomanizer Instagram | Twitter Broman is a parody GOD whose best known for his reality television parodies – but seriously, – anything this dude parodies is comedy GOLD. What’s even crazier? His parodies are ALSO ongoing sketch series with reoccurring characters, storylines, and everything that constitutes a comedy series! He’s literally MAKING FUN OF STUFF MAKING FUNNY STUFF 3 Funny TikToks from Broman Martinez-Reid: Being in the kitchen but it’s a reality tv competition show When your sleep schedule is so bad it becomes part of the news That girl who’s happy about quarantine ‘cause she gets to do quirky things Sarah Schauer • 1.2M followers (@sarahschauer) @sarahschauer POV: in line for the bathroom at the club ♬ original sound – sarahschauer Instagram | YouTube | Twitter If Chris Farley and Molly Shannon had a kid, it would be Sarah Schauer. She crushed it on Vine, and now she’s crushing it on TikTok. She is the queer queen of point-of-view, one-take sketches and start off (kind of) normal and then take you on an unpredictable, hilarious ride. 3 Funny TikToks from Sarah Schauer: POV: in line for the bathroom at the club shopping at TJ MAXX POV: on a date Akana • 474k followers (@akana_official) @akana_official ACTUAL INTERACTIONS I HAVE WITH CUSTOMERS PART 2 #customerservice #restaurantlife #comedy #funny #actor #tiktokhumour ♬ original sound – akana_official Instagram | YouTube | Website If you’ve worked in the service industry or witnessed a customer being ✨horrible ✨ – you’re going to ADORE Akana. Her sketches about server life are hilariously hyperactive yet somehow super grounded and relatable. Not into server jokes? That’s fine – because Akana literally is a one-woman sketch show with so many characters that, no matter what kind of humor you have, she’ll have something that’ll make you laugh. 3 Funny TikToks from Akana: ACTUAL INTERACTIONS I HAVE WITH CUSTOMERS HOW TO BETRAY AN ITALIAN MOTHER When The Casting Director finds out you’re Half-Italian Like my TikTok recommendations? Cool. Got better ones? Awesome! If there’s a TikTok account you think FOD should feature, send it my way: firstname.lastname@example.org Follow FOD on TikTok! https://vm.tiktok.com/J2NGVMq/ ARTICLES REGARDING THE TIKTOK BAN Does TikTok Really Pose a Risk to US National Security? (WIRED) TikTok To Sue Trump Administration Over Ban (NPR) Twitter and TikTok reportedly have had talks about a deal (The Verge)
A Buddy Comedy About Abortion? Yes Please
by Sloane Hughes on August 14, 2020 at 9:11 pm
This is quite the road trip One of the things we all look forward to in the summer is escaping the heat and sunshine and confining ourselves in a dark theater with a bunch of strangers to watch movies, which of course now sounds like an absolute goddamn nightmare. Luckily, just because we can’t cram together in front of the big screen, that doesn’t mean we can’t still catch some sweet flicks this summer. Speaking of which! (Great segue, killed it.) Yesterday the trailer for HBO Max’s upcoming feature Unpregnant dropped, and you should all grab some popcorn. The buddy film stars Haley Lu Richardson and Barbie Ferreira, but it’s probably not like any good ol’ buddy comedy you’ve seen before. College-bound teen Victoria (Haley) enlists the help of her former best friend Bailey (Barbie) for a trip to the nearest abortion clinic — which is two states away. The film is directed by our very own Funny Or Die aulm, Rachel Lee Goldenberg! (Woohoo!) Rachel directed Lady Time, and won a Primetime Emmy for Between Two Ferns with Barack Obama. Check out the trailer below! R E L A T E D Pet Peeves with Giancarlo Esposito (and Gus Fring)
Ben Shapiro’s Reaction To ‘WAP’ Is Straight Up Embarrassing
by Sloane Hughes on August 13, 2020 at 7:43 pm
I’d almost feel bad for the guy if he weren’t, you know, Ben Shapiro Just under one week ago rappers and patron saints of coochie, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, dropped their sex-positive anthem “WAP” along with its corresponding music video. The track is an homage to their respective vajeens, and really, vajeens everywhere. But since this is a song about how sex is fun featuring only women, you all know what that means. Almost immediately after “WAP” was released men from all over crawled out of their swamps to condemn it, crying about how the song is LEWD and Cardi and Megan should be ASHAMED and now women have just been set back ONE HUNDRED YEARS! Because if it’s not a song where men are detailing getting blowjobs (“Slob On My Knob” by Three Six Mafia, “Candy Shop” by 50 Cent), getting handjobs (“Lemon Song” by Led Zeppelin), or having a good ol’ time railing a virgin (“Squealer” by AC/DC), then something’s wrong. Women taking control of their own sexuality? Who will think of the children! Among these pearl-clutchers are Cee-Lo Green, y’know, the guy who said it’s not rape if they’re unconscious, and, most spectacularly, Ben Shapiro. If you’re unfamiliar with Ben Shapiro, he’s a conservative political commentator with an asshole so clenched he could shit diamonds. He apparently felt so moved by “WAP”, he took the time to record himself watching the entire music video. There are only two moments from his cringe-worthy commentary worth noting, the first being that he literally cannot bring himself to utter the word pussy, so he resorts to saying “wet ass p-word.” P-word. This man is 36 years old. Incredibly, though, that’s not even the best part. The greatest part actually came after he posted his video when he doubled-down on Twitter, resulting in possibly the best self-own of 2020 so far. In order to prove just how not-wrong he is, Ben shifted gears from This Isn’t What Susan B. Anthony Would Want to Guys My Wife Assures Me Wet Pussies Aren’t Normal. As I also discussed on the show, my only real concern is that the women involved — who apparently require a “bucket and a mop” — get the medical care they require. My doctor wife’s differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis.— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) August 10, 2020 Which, of course, anyone with a pussy or anyone who has successfully interacted with one knows is… uh… not the case. But just to confirm this, gynecologists took to Twitter to explain that yes, actually, wet vaginas are good and normal. I’m not sure who to feel more sorry for, Ben Shapiro or his poor wife’s bone-dry coochie, but one thing for sure is they both need help. Watch the full “WAP” music video here.
Congratulations To Maya Rudolph For Securing That Bag
by Sloane Hughes on August 11, 2020 at 11:15 pm
Nothing but respect for MY sketch Vice President So, big news today! After what felt like an eternity (partially because it did take a long time but mostly because everyday in quarantine feels like it’s 60 hours long), former Vice President and man who exudes the exact same kind of energy as Family Guy’s Mayor Adam West, Joe Biden, has made his pick for Vice Presidential nominee. It’s Kamala Harris! While this is supremely exciting for huge reasons like, if elected, she would become the first woman, the first Asian American, and the first Black American to be Vice President of the United States, this is also exciting for a not-as-historically-groundbreaking reason. Get ready for four more years of Maya Rudolph, babyyyyy! During this election cycle SNL alum Maya Rudolph brought Senator Harris to life on the stage of Studio 8H, and although the road to President of the USA stopped short for Kamala, Maya’s performances were near unbeatable. Should Kamala Harris accept this nomination, we can only hope she and Biden are victorious in November, not just for the sake of this country’s democracy which now hangs in the balance or, y’know, whatever, but also because that means we have a full term of Vice President Maya Rudolph on Saturday Night Live. DNC Town Hall 2020 Democratic Debate PBS Democratic Debate
Johnno and Michael Try a Musical
by Johnno Wilson on August 11, 2020 at 4:00 pm
SING YOUR SORROWS AWAY Overly positive people are annoying, especially when you’re in a bad mood. And that’s where Michael is at: he’s in a big ol’ funk and Johnno’s chipper outlook on life is NOT appreciated right now. Could Johnno’s overbearing positivity get any more annoying? We didn’t think think so… until he started singing. Ugh. However, no matter how down-in-the-dumps Michael was determined to be, you can’t fight the magic of a musical, and after a few lines of Johnno’s motivational medley, Michael’s frown was turned upside-down and he was suddenly motivated to do more than mope. Maybe Michael would go to the beach! Hell yeah buddy! Get that tan! -Or perhaps go back to school!? Uh… like today? I don’t think it works like that… NO – SCREW ALL OF THAT. MICHAEL IS GOING TO FREAKIN JUPITER!!! Okay… I think Michael may be too motivated. Wait… we’re totally being dicks here. We can’t hate on Michael when he’s moping and then also hate on him when he actually motivated. That isn’t fair. Alright Michael, even though we don’t understand how you’re gonna do it – we believe in you. Fly to Jupiter!! Don’t let your dreams be dreams!! Watch more episodes of “Johnno and Michael Try” http://funnyordie.com/johnno-and-michael-try EPISODE CREDITS Starring: Johnno: Johnno Wilson @johnnowilson Michael: Michael Strassner @strasshola Eliza Jupiter: Anneliese Van Der Pol @anneliesevanderpol Rob: Charlie Faith @char_char_iv ABOUT JOHNNO AND MICHAEL TRY In this series, Johnno and Michael try things. The two aren’t always successful and (often) hilariously fail, but hey – at least they’re having fun!
People Are Petitioning For Eric Andre To Host ‘Ellen’, As Is Right And Just
by Sloane Hughes on August 11, 2020 at 2:42 am
Courtesy of Change.org It seems we are on the cusp of a new era Considering everything that’s going on right now, like the Trump administration doing everything possible to gut the United States Postal service and with it, the very fabric of democracy in this country, the ever-growing number of COVID-19 hotspots spreading across America due to the reopening of schools against the recommendations of like, every expert we should be listening to, and fun stuff like the giant friggin’ volcano that erupted today in Indonesia, it’s very easy for a lot of news to slip through the cracks. One story that definitely captured all of our attention, though, is the recent allegations against Ellen DeGeneres and her talk show’s management team. The reports of workplace problems from numerous staffers of The Ellen DeGeneres Show are still under an internal investigation and while this has thoroughly rocked the worlds of middle-aged suburban moms everywhere, many people are now wondering: If, y’know, it came down to it, who should replace Ellen? Since we’re all still living in this COVID quarantine hell and are spending way, way too much time on the internet in lieu of real human interaction, there hasn’t been a shortage of recommendations thrown out into the ether. However, there’s only one true contender. Only one of the names put forth to ascend this hypothetically empty throne should even be considered for the task. Eric Andre. Get Eric Andre to replace Ellen, keep show format the same. Also don’t change the name— Gabe Gurwin (@GamingAngelGabe) August 2, 2020 Yes, if Ellen is the sword, Eric Andre is young Arthur, the only one fated to pull it from the stone no matter how hard James Corden tries. Hannibal Buress is Merlin. If you’re unfamiliar with Eric Andre, you shouldn’t be, but I’m excited that you get to go on this journey for the first time. The man is more than qualified. He’s been the host of his own talk show since 2012, I’m sure every single one of his guests would tell you that it was an interview unlike any they’ve ever experienced before, or since, probably, and, perhaps most importantly, he’s got the stage presence for it. This idea has inspired and moved people so much, it’s been able to grow from a single tweet to an entire petition, now almost 100,000 people strong, in a matter of days. And, most significantly of all, Eric Andre is in support of it himself. https://t.co/mDGhwv8EDC— Eric Andre (@ericandre) August 4, 2020 If you’d like to sign the petition, you can do so here.
11 Stand-up Specials On Netflix You’ve Gotta Check Out
by Sloane Hughes on August 7, 2020 at 9:51 pm
Happy bingeing! How are we all doing, everybody? Not great? Same here, pal! The good news is it’s Friday, so at least we have the weekend to look forward to. Just kidding, weekends don’t exist anymore because every single day since March has been exactly the same. Since we’re still stuck in lockdown mode, we can’t exactly hit the town this Saturday night. (Well, I mean, you could, but you should not, because some of us actually want this to be over someday.) So you know what that means — it’s Netflix time, babyyyyyy! You’re probably thinking, “Sloane, you fool, you absolute FOOL. We’ve been quarantining for almost six months, I have seen all there is to see on Netflix. There is nothing there for me anymore.” And to that I say, you are wrong! (Probably.) Why? Well. Netflix has been keeping things from you. There are over 6,000 titles on U.S. Netflix, and in order to access a lot of them, you actually need a code. To make navigating easier, Netflix doesn’t list all of the available titles under their preset categories, and they don’t all appear when you search a genre either. Which means, there is a ton of shit you’ve probably never seen before that you didn’t even know was hidden. So, this isn’t just a guide for great new Netflix stand-up specials to watch, it’s also a guide to some less recent comedy gems you may have missed entirely. For the complete list of codes to unlock all the hidden titles across different genres, check out the Code Bible. Sam Jay 3 in the Morning (2020) Netflix | screenshot Touring museums on ‘shrooms. Taking her girl to meet her family. Peeing standing up. Her life is a trip, and there’s a lot to unpack. James Acaster Repertoire (2018) Netflix | screenshot British comedian James Acaster riffs on his love of loopholes, free produce, childhood dreams, cardboard boxes, and more in this aberrant 4-part stand-up special. W. Kamau Bell Private School Negro (2018) Netflix | screenshot Comedian W. Kamau Bell muses on parenting in the Trump era, “free speech” dustups, woke children’s TV, and his fear of going off the grid. Eric Andre Legalize Everything (2020) Netflix | screenshot Taking substances with Mom. Text fights with an 80’s movie villain. Eric’s off-the-wall, surreal take on comedy must be seen to be believed. Hannah Gadsby Douglas (2020) Netflix | screenshot She shared her story and started a stand-up revolution. Now she’s back — and armed with even more unapologetic honesty. Gina Yashere Laughing to America (2013) Netflix | screenshot British comic Gina Yashere takes the stage in San Francisco, where she shares her thoughts on everything from toilet ninjas to her troublesome name. Lucas Brothers On Drugs (2017) Netflix | screenshot They look alike, they sound alike, and they both hate Richard Nixon. These twins are bringing the high to low-key comedy. Judah Friedlander America is the Greatest Country in the United States (2017) Netflix | screenshot Deadpan comic and self-proclaimed world champion Judah Friedlander performs over several nights in New York, explaining why America is No. 1. Russell Brand Re:Birth (2018) Netflix | screenshot Rabble-rouser. Tabloid target. Thrower of soup. The self-deprecating comedian is back — and he’s procreated. Bo Burnham Make Happy (2016) Netflix | screenshot Combining his trademark wit and self-deprecating humor with original music, Bo Burnham offers up his unique twist on life in this stand-up special. Leslie Jones Time Machine (2020) Netflix | screenshot From trying to seduce Prince to battling sleep apnea, Leslie Jones traces her evolution as an adult in a joyfully raw and outrageous stand-up special.